Girlfriend Forces Her Boyfriend to Walk the Dog at 3 AM, Can't Understand Why That's an Unreasonable Request

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 7, 2023 3:30 PM EDT

It's important to split chores evenly with your partner. That's simple when it comes to stationary things, like washing dishes, cleaning the toilet, or sweeping the floor, but when you have to take care of a living being, things get more complicated. Animals require around-the-clock care. You have to feed them twice a day and take them out to go to the bathroom several times a day. My parent's dogs get up super early because my dad is an early riser who is willing to feed them at 5 or 6 AM. That being said, it's important to adjust your dog's schedule to your own. If you're working all day, you better let them out right before you leave and immediately after you get home. One couple (a Redditor girlfriend and a normie boyfriend) is currently in a bit of a predicament; the girlfriend has gotten their dog in the habit of going out at 3 AM, and she expects her sleeping boyfriend to take him out at that time. 

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  • 01
    Font - am Liv r/AmltheAsshole u/nighttimedog. 20h AITA for making my BF walk our dog at 3AM?
    via u/nighttimedog
  • 02
    Font - I'm a nurse. I used to get home from work and our dog would be by the door waiting because she got used to the time I'd be home. I'd then take her for a quick walk. She got used to it and it turned to a habit. I was working night shifts only pretty consistently until now.
    via u/nighttimedog
  • 03
    Smile - My boyfriend refuses to wake up at night when she comes barking at our door and acts likes he is dead asleep or just point blank says no. I then have to wake up and do it.
    via u/nighttimedog
  • 04
    Font - Yesterday night I went to the bathroom as soon because I genuinely needed it but then she woke up and wanted to go for her walk. I could her my bf calling me but I stayed in bathroom a while longer to prompt him to get up and take her on walk because I have told him time and time again it's unfair that I always have to do it.
    via u/nighttimedog
  • 05
    Handwriting - He did end up doing it but was pretty pissed off about it and said I created this issue and should deal with it to fix it. AITA?
    via u/nighttimedog
  • 06
    Font - Sporadic Counsel • 20h Partassipant [3] YTA. You created a bad habit for the dog. Now instead of fixing it, you're reinforcing it. That's on you. ... Reply 21.2k
    via u/SporadicCounsel
  • 07
    Rectangle - alglqax2 16h Agreed. OP is the asshole 42.8k
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  • 08
    Font - UP Educational-Hall1525 15h Yeah sorry OP I got the impression this is more about balancing duties around the house with him being there or at least I'm hoping so. Either or, your the dogs owner. I would much rather you come to an agreement where he helps to walk during a time that works for him and isn't disturbing either of your sleep.
    via u/Educational-Hall1525
  • 09
    Font - I have two dogs. I have recently transitioned them both (f7 f3) from sleeping in our bed as they've always done. They're M. Sized and we have a Queen so it's just not a thing. Plus I have a baby now and they Ultimately needed to have a steady, consistent long term transition into all of our new roles. They are dogs. It's great that you made sure to walk her when you could but if you don't have to it's time to comfortably help her make a change and let her be a dog. It's not gonna hurt her
    via u/Educational-Hall1525
  • 10
    Font - HRHArgyll Agreed. Re-train your dog or do it yourself. YTA. 13h ● 695
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  • 11
    Font - mamawheels36. 12h Yta, Dog don't take long to retrain for activities they love (eg walk time) I used to walk my dog around 9pm then it shifted to 11pm then we had a break (1/2 acre yard and lots of fetch because I was sick) and now back to night walks but like 10pm You need to do some positive reinforcement and shift their walk time... it's absolutely unreasonable to expect anyone to walk the dog at 3am 550
    via u/mamawheels36
  • 12
    Font - Dreams-Of-HermaMora • 8h Dog don't take long to retrain for activities they love More emphasis there because this is absolutely correct. Training dogs in general doesn't take very long - consistency is key. Our dog is a working sort so she'll pick up on tasks very quickly and she retains them (I taught her a modified Snoot quite some time ago and sometimes I'll ask for it and she does it).
    via u/Dreams-Of-HermaMora
  • 13
    Font - She has also gotten used to being let out in the morning for half an hour or so after Dad leaves for work - he lets her out before then, so this was later trained by my Grandma. Now that falls on me...but I have been attempting to get extra sleep after he goes and Dog has quickly learned that her 30 minutes can wait. And if it can't, she knows where I am and how to get my attention. 102
    via u/Dreams-Of-HermaMora
  • 14
    Font - stellarecho92 • 13h Partassipant [4] Exactly. I also work odd hours and nights often. I always take my dog out before and after work. He's used to the bit of fluctuation. However, if it's an unreasonable time, I have hired a dog walker in the past. It is unreasonable to ask your partner to interrupt his sleep because of the animal and habit that you are responsible for. 138
    via u/stellarecho92
  • 15
    Font - Th3ow3way. 12h This. My wife is a cardiologist and we have 2 dogs, one which she got before med school. I agreed to help take care of dogs before we were married as long as dogs were set on normal schedule. They now have a rigid 3 out schedule where they go out in morning, after work, and before bed and it works perfect because I can take out dogs all 3 times if my wife is working long hours or she can help out whenever she's available, but this way dogs always rely on going out at same t
    via u/Th3ow3way
  • 16
    Font - Ok-Context1168 • 20h Asshole Aficionado [17] Sorry but your bf is right, YTA. You need to train your dog since your shift changed, however, he should help with that. Yall have to gradually get the dog to wait later and later until a reasonable time.
    via u/Ok-Context1168
  • 17
    Organism - Also, that was a bad idea from the get-go. BF should have been taking him out before bed. Just because you were coming home at 3am, doesn't mean you should have created that bad habit for him. My fricking Yorkie goes out at 10pm and can wait until 8am before going out again. Reply 7k ...
    via u/Ok-Context1168
  • 18
    Font - Janet Snakehole_12. 16h If it's not the BFs dog, it's not his responsibility... ... 306
    via u/Janet Snakehole_12
  • 19
    Font - helloitme33. 16h It says in the post "our dog", what makes you think it's not also the boyfriends dog? 1.1k
    via u/helloitme33
  • 20
    Font - boixgenius 15h ● If they're living together and are in a committed relationship i would consider that an equal responsibility ... 289
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  • 21
    Font - goamash 15h ● Eh. I had my dog 5 years before I met my husband and started cohabitating with him. He didn't grow up with pets and didn't have a desire for one. She's still my dog, my primary responsibility. If I'm out of town, he will take her out and make sure she's fed, but if I'm home, nope, all me. I don't disagree with him either. She's my dog, and it doesn't matter that we've been together a decade, and 2/3rds of her life. He never wanted one, he didn't sign up for it, and frankly I
    via u/goamash
  • 22
    Font - plierss 15h I had a dog before I got in to my current relationship, he was 'my dog'. Vet bills food were 100% on me. He'd walk him when he felt like it, but the daily obligatory rain or hail or shine walks were on me also. After he passed we mutually agreed to get another dog, now everything is 50/50. I think that was a pretty fair way to approach things. 4132 132
    via u/plierss
  • 23
    Font - boixgenius 15h ● I'd argue he kinda did sign up for your dog when you guys got together. If your significant other knows you have a dog and you guys get married, obviously they know that dog is now a big part of your lives. A step below having kids together imo ... 19
    via u/boixgenius
  • 24
    Font - Appropriate_Cat_1119 14h ● no this is ridiculous. plenty of people don't like or want animals, yet because they love someone agree to living with their existing pet because it makes them happy and they would be an assshole to ask them to get rid of the pet. I agree adults should take responsibly if the pet is in urgent need of care, obviously no adult should let an animal suffer and do nothing, but training and non necessary walks isn't part of this 145
    via u/Appropriate_Cat_1119
  • 25
    Font - emeraldia25 - 20h YTA, you did create the issue and you should start breaking the dogs habit if you no longer work nights. Sleep through the night let him bark like a baby would cry. Eventually he will figure out the late night strolls are over. ... Reply 551
    via u/emeraldia25
  • 26
    Rectangle - speckatacular. 18h YTA. He "acts like he is dead asleep" at 3am? You think that's acting? ... Reply 170
    via u/speckatacular
  • 27
    Font - Schafer_Isaac. 20h. Certified Proctologist [23] INFO: Are you not doing night shifts anymore? Is the dog being let out before your bf/you go to sleep? Overall sounds like the dog isn't trained--it's barking to go for a walk at 3am like this is normal. You made this a normal habit, and now you'll have to re-train the dog that its not an acceptable or normal habit. I don't see how your bf is an AH for not wanting to walk a dog at 3am. ... Reply 125 125
    via u/Schafer_Isaac

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